“Non Violent Communication” Tools x 3

Communication is about expressing your ideas and thoughts as well as having them be received in the way you want them to be heard and in a way that others can hear what you actually are intending to say.
Communication begins with self-awareness. What am I feeling (see NVC Feelings Inventory below) and thinking? What am I desiring or wanting and needing (see NVC Human Needs List below) in a situation? NVC or Non Violent Communication (see http://www.CNVC.org) is a system to help us figure this all out. NVC is a great tool that invites all people involved to be assertive (as opposed to passive or aggressive or passive-aggressive) and to be compassionate of themselves and others.
Once we are self-aware and clear, we can make a request of others (a do-able, positive and specific request that invites a person to answer “Yes”, “No” or “Let me think about it”. Requests are not the same as demands, where the person “asking” something of the other person expects (or demands) only one answer of the other. The NVC way of communicating takes some practice (see NVC 4 Steps below). However, it  is worth it when we can speak effectively, harmoniously and successfully. Give it a try and see what happens!

NVC 4 Steps

NVC Feelings Inventory

Human Needs List


If you have any questions or comments about this “tool”, email Sharon at Sharon@SharonSanborn.com

Author: SharonSanborn.com

I offer Life and Relationship Coaching, Psychotherapy or Counseling for Individuals and Couples, On-Line Courses, Art and Photo Therapy and Hypnotherapy to individuals and couples. I also offer Clinical Supervision for counselors/social workers, Voice Dialogue facilitation and the following Courses "Stop Getting Triggered or Defensive: Chill Tools for Self-Control", "Stop Fighting and Get What You Want: Listening and Speaking Skills" and "Turning Dating Disappointment into Success for Gals" as well as "Introduction to SoulCollage® Workshops" and "SoulCollage® Gatherings". More information at www.SharonSanborn.com or 206-283-9767 in USA or Sharon@SharonSanborn.com

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